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Written by Counselor Adofoli
Love is beautiful but marriage is more beautiful. Marriage is a blessing no matter the negative news you have heard or how bad your marriage is now. What corrupted this institution is our approach to it, not the intended approach the Creator wanted us to use.
Many at times when people are newly married, they assume they have a perfect spouse which isn’t so. Sooner or later when you come to realize that your spouse is not perfect, what do you do? Do you leave in search of your kind of perfect partner? There is no such being out there.
The remedy to this is to love your spouse more, praise them for the things they did right and help them work on things which are their challenges. Let your spouse know he or she is not your number one but rather your only because you are married to him or her alone.
Your partner made a lot of sacrifice just to be with you, they gave up the world for you. They could have chosen someone else but they did not. They said No to others just because of you. They left friends they enjoyed company with so much for you, parents they loved so much for you, siblings they can’t do without just for you; Family names and legacy which they have carried for so long in exchange for yours.
In return, what do you do?, to become all that they left for you. She now bears your name; she is now your friend, your parent, your family. The two of you are on one path of becoming one as the bible says “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” – Genesis 2:24 (ASV).
It’s your job to make sure they never need another man or woman again. Your spouse is created in the image of God and you don’t have to tell her she is stupid, senseless, or offensively say she is fat, outmoded or call him any unpleasant names.
But the sad truth is, lots of spouses do this to their partners. They forget that such actions create wounds in their partner’s hearts, wounds that never show on the body but are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.
The question is, can you say the same negative stuff to your own parents? A man is born through a woman and he is raised by a woman. He falls in love with a woman and marries a woman. It is unacceptable to disrespect a woman especially your wife, the mother of your children.
It is a man who gave up his sperm to give you the woman a life, he raised you up as a father, you married a man as a husband, why call him a foolish man? It’s like calling yourself a foolish woman or a foolish wife. It is only a fool that gets married to a fool.
We let pride, ego and anger change who we are; we allow few short-lettered words destroy a long twelve -letter word called Relationship. We forget that when pride enters us, it’s intoxicating; it makes us feel bigger and better than our partner. Many of us don’t know that when anger enters the mind, wisdom departs.
If you think she has grown fat, behaving childish or not doing things you want her to do, the best way is to involve her in the process of change, show her and she will learn. Help him to become the man you want him to be, after all you are his helper not his killer.
Hold on to your spouse, don’t give up on love. This generation is full of people driven by ego, money and status. As a result, good souls are ruined daily. Don’t lose your blessings for a curse. A man’s success has a lot to do with the kind of woman he chooses to have in his life.
In conclusion “Some people like to make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise soothe and heal” – Proverbs 12:18 (TLB).
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