Growing up in a Christian home, I understood the consequences of pre-marital sex. Several times, I had been told it was a great offence to God – probably the greatest. I remember the countless times the Street Evangelists from across my home would emphasise God’s dislike for it. I realized how serious an issue it was back then. I told myself I would rather not fall into this ‘great sin’. I avoided any form of intimacy with the opposite sex.
By 21, I knew I would make the mark! If I had stayed so ‘pure’ all these years, why can I not do same for the next 5 to 10 years when I finally meet my Beloved☺. I remember the several times I would boast to people how I had been able to keep myself ‘intact’ all the years. I recounted the several times I had to flee from the ladies who tried to get me to play with them. Those were the times other young people were told to look up to me as an example to follow. On several platforms, I would tell my ‘chaste’ story and receive applause.
At 25, people still wondered how I could stay with my Beloved for almost 2 years and still be a Virgin. Countless times I remember saying it was self-discipline. I told them how I had made a promise to myself some years to remain a Virgin till marriage. This is a Joseph of our days, they probably thought. In a short while, without a wife, I think I had the most Sons any Father could ever have. I was a big example to the youth! One day when I was preparing a message to minister at a Youth Meeting in one church nearby.
I heard a minute voice tell me, ‘You are not a Virgin, do not be deceived’. I decided to rebuke the Devil for penetrating my thoughts. How could he think I was not a Virgin when he even knew I had never really known any woman – ei sorry- never had SEX with any woman? Did I just say that? 😳🙄
I suddenly reached out for the Dictionary App on my phone to check the meaning of a Virgin once again. And yes, I passed! Right there it was! – ‘Someone who has never had sexual intercourse’. But this small voice would not let me be. He insisted I was not. He asked that I read ALL that the Dictionary said aloud! Oh, what a lost battle he is calling for, I thought to myself. Then I read aloud, A Virgin is a person who has never had sexual intercourse, or sometimes, ONE WHO HAS NEVER
ENGAGED IN ANY SEXUAL ACTIVITY AT ALL (Oxford English Dictionary). Ah, but who just added those last words, I fumed. I had never really seen those ones. I thought for a while and said to myself, ‘oh even with that, I am still a Virgin’. Then came the small voice again, ‘Are you sure you are?’ he asked. Who is this person trying to challenge my chastity? I began to feel impatient. He asked, ‘Have you not engaged in any sexual activity?’ Without thinking, I responded ‘Oh yes I have not’. Then he asked again, ‘Even with Akosua Naomi’. Akosua Naomi? Who is Akosua Naomi? I thought hard. Akosua Naomi was a lady from Junior High School. She was very pretty and probably the most talked about lady. She had turned down all the guys who had approached her but for some reasons she felt really comfortable around me. After our last BECE paper, I could not watch her go. We had talked about how we both were going to miss each other’s company after school. I had only asked her to meet me in one of the classrooms so we could pray over the papers we had written. Before I could say the last Amen, I suddenly felt her swift palms were warmer than I had noticed the days before.
I thought a hug would not be a bad idea- after all, I am probably not going to see her again. Just before I could take my hands off her, I felt something soft touch my chest. Feeling naive, I tried to see what it was but our eyes met. I suddenly realised how beautiful Afia was. Before I could avoid her eyes, I felt something soft on my lips that I seemed to be enjoying. We were already kissing. Had it not been the screeching sound of our headmaster’s old car, we would probably have had an hour of great memories. And yes, that was just that! It was ONLY a 10-min kiss with Afia some 12years ago.
God has given Himself to us. As a Gentleman, He awaits our call to lead our lives. He does not come uninvited though He desires that all men be saved. There is that small voice calling out to you. You do not have to be a robber, a prostitute or a murder. Just come to Him just the same as you are. It is not okay to just ‘fondle or be fondled’,
God is interested in a clean temple as well as a clean relationship. Colossians 3:5 says so kill (deaden, deprive of power) the evil desire lurking in your members [those animal impulses and all that is earthly in you that is employed in sin]: sexual vice, impurity, sensual appetites, unholy desires, and all greed and covetousness, for that is idolatry (the deifying of self and other created things instead of God).